Gender Blender
by Mew Draiku
Summary: [MxYM oneshot] Malik goes out to a bar, dressed as a girl! What happens when someone hits on him? And what happens when he discovers that the one hitting on him is his worst nightmare! Figure out at just the click of a button! [Look...I really suck at sum


Mew: Well! It's another Malik x Marik oneshot!

Draiku: I swear, 99 of all your stories that you write must be Marik x Malik…

Mew: They're my favorite couple, you know. Bronzeshipping is the love!

Draiku: I'm fond of psychoshipping. (Marik x Bakura)

Mew: I knew that you'd say something like that…

Yoko: You forgot Tendershipping. (Bakura x Ryou)

Mew: Yeah…um, for those of you who're reading _The Prince of Thieves and the Slave_ and _When Houses Collide_, the chapters might not be up for a while (Especially WHC). I'm currently stuck on both because I have a snippet of an idea for both, but that won't make a chapter. Ideas are welcome at any time!

Disclaimer: I wish that I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, but I don't. So I'm sad.

Gender Blender

Someone in the Ishtar residence came down the stairs. She wore sandals, a Japanese school-girl blue skirt, thin, pink bracelets on both wrists, golden earrings, and a pink, short-sleeved shirt with the word "juicy" printed over where the breasts would be. Isis looked over to this person and let out a sigh.

"Malik…honestly, just because you're not a tomb keeper anymore doesn't mean that you can go around town flirting with boys…" she groaned. Malik giggled, grinning.

"So what? Their expressions are priceless!" he replied. Of course, he had a padded bra on so that he would look more like a girl. Isis sighed again.

"Whatever you say, Malik." She turned back to washing the dishes, deciding to try to ignore the fact that Malik could be very blatant about being gay. It wasn't like she was a homophobe (she'd be a hypocrite if she was), she just wished that he could be a little bit more private about his sexuality. Rishid walked into the room and gave Malik the fish-eye.

"You're gonna go out again?" he said, knowing that Malik did this on a weekly basis.

"Yup, yup!" Malik chirped. "Wanna come with me?"

"No, thank you," Rishid replied quickly.

"Oh, well. See you two in a couple o' hours!" Malik said as he bounced out the door and waved, winking. Isis and Rishid gave each other the look.

"It's almost as if he's a new person," Isis said. Rishid nodded in agreement.

"I know. And it happened overnight!" They recalled the day Malik had walked into the kitchen and said two, simple words: "I'm gay." Right after that, he decided to associate the word "gay" with "happy-go-lucky." Thus, he dressed as a girl just for the heck of it.

"Yes. I just wish that he could be a little bit less obvious about it, like me," Isis said, sighing. Rishid blinked.

"What?" he said. Isis gasped.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! I did not just suggest that I am gay and have a liking for Anzu because I don't!" she said in a tight voice. Rishid sighed softly.

"Whatever you say, Isis-sama," he muttered.

-

The first place Malik decided to visit was the local bar. That place was, unlike other bars, filled with younger men, rather than middle-aged perverts who were in the mood for an affair.

Malik walked in and sat at one of the tables. He ordered a margarita and waited for someone to arrive. Surprisingly enough, just when he was finished ordering, he heard someone sit next to him.

"Why, hello there. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" said a voice. An arm strung its way around his shoulders. Malik smiled cheerfully, his eyes closed in a cute manner.

"Well, I come here every so often just to get away from life, y' know what I mean?" he said, turning to the man next to him.

"Yes, me too. Hn, you look a little bit familiar, have I met you somewhere?" the man said.

"Maybe, I do get out a lot," Malik said and opened his eyes. He gasped in surprise. There, sitting next to him with his arm around his shoulders was his worst nightmare.

Marik.

"I see, I see. I don't get out as much as I'd like to, because whenever I do, it pays off, apparently. After all, I saw you here," he said, leaning closer to Malik's face. Malik "erked" and scooted away, very slightly. "Eh? What's wrong, honey?" Marik asked. "Is it alright if I call you honey? I mean, you do look _very_ sweet and all."

"Uh, sure! Go right ahead!" Malik replied in a tight voice. He didn't want Marik to know that it was him. What would happen? Marik would definitely kill him, that was for sure.

"Alright, then, Honey. Hey, what's your real name, anyway? I might as well know," he asked.

"It's M-Marie," Malik murmured, quickly making up a name.

"Hm, quite a pretty name, but not as pretty as you, Honey. My name's Marik," he said. "Mind if I kiss you?" Malik blinked, surprised.

"Go…go right ahead," he said softly and put on a fake yet very convincing smile. Marik gently kissed Malik's lips and Malik kissed back, closing his eyes and forgetting who he was with at the moment. Marik was a good kisser…

"Thanks," Marik said, pulling away. "You taste as sweet as you look."

"Thank you," Malik replied subconsciously.

"Here's your margarita," the waitress said and set the drink in front of Malik. "And here's yours," she said and put one in front of Marik. They thanked her and she went to attend another table. Marik and Malik chatted quite a bit, until finally, Marik had enough drinks to fill up a lake while Malik was still on his second.

"Well, y' shee, jusht a few monthsh ago, I ushed t' be th' other shide o' this guy named Malik. But then, when I wassh gonna kill th' bashtard o' a pharaoh, he shent me t' thish place called th' Shadow Realm. I got out, 'cuz thish guy named…Shadi or shomething, I ferget, took me outta there. I never meant t' be sho mean t' Malik, y' know, 'cuz I loved 'im. I mean, I'm not exhac'ly shtraight, an' I'm not exhac'ly gay, either, so I s'pose that I'm bi, or whatever. But sheriously, I had t' act li' I hated Malik sho the pharaoh would try t' kill me 'stead o' him, y' know? I wassh gonna tell 'im, but he'd never lishten t' me, never! And I s'pose that I like y' 'cuz y' look a lot like 'im! I mean, y' got hish eyesh and hish hair and all that shtuff…" Marik said in a drunken voice. Malik blinked and widened his eyes. Marik had loved him?

"Oh, an' Malik had a shishter named Ishish, an' a brother named Rishid…I missh those two, 'cuz Ishish wassh really nice an' all, an' Rishid wassh a great guy…great guy indeed…conshidered 'em t' be m' family, ash a matter o' fac'! But they hated me…ever'one hatesh ol' Marik…" Marik continued.

"Hey, Marik, I don't hate you," Malik offered. "I think you're really sweet." _Now that I finally get to know you!_ he added as an afterthought.

"Aw, thanksh, Marie…" Marik passed out, flopping into Malik's arms. Malik stared at him, smiling slightly. He wondered what to do, since he didn't want to leave Marik at the bar, but he didn't want to take him back home. He sighed, deciding to go to the hotel. He paid for the both of them and took Marik into his arms and hurried to the hotel. He quickly took him inside and called up Isis.

"Hello?" said Isis' voice.

"Hello, Isis? This is Malik," he replied.

"Uh-oh, did something happen?" she asked worriedly.

"Kind of. I'm going to be at the Pharaoh's hotel for the night, 'kay?"

"What happened?" she said seriously.

"Marik's back."

"WHAT!"

"He's back. I met him at the bar and he got so drunk that he passed out. I couldn't just leave him there, I mean, he used to be a part of me! Anyway, I'll be back in the morning," he said.

"How did he get back? Did he tell you?"

"Yeah. Shadi brought him back," he replied. "Anyway, good-bye. I'll call if something goes wrong, alright?"

"Alright. See you next morning," Isis said.

"Bye." Malik hung up the phone and looked to Marik, who was sleeping on one of the beds peacefully. He couldn't help but smile.

Malik sat on the bed and gently put his hand on Marik's.

"You should have told me sooner," he murmured in a very soft voice. "Then maybe I would have reconsidered sending you to the Shadow Realm." He got up and got into the other bed, falling asleep.

-

Malik awoke the next morning when he heard a groan coming from Marik's bed. He looked up and saw Marik, sitting awake and rubbing his head.

"Marik, you're awake," he stated. Marik looked at him.

"You took me here, didn't you?" he asked. Malik nodded.

"Well, I wasn't just gonna leave you there," he said. "Anyway, you passed out at the bar. By the way, you started ranting about loving some guy named Malik, so…" Marik gasped.

"I said that!" he exclaimed. Malik nodded. "Oh, gods, Marie, I'm sorry." Malik smiled and shook his head.

"Don't be," he said in his real voice. Marik gasped.

"You sound exactly like…" he started.

"I know. That's because I am Malik," Malik said, grinning. Marik stared at him with wide eyes. "I didn't want to tell you at first because I didn't know what you'd do." Marik suddenly jumped from his bed and tackled Malik. He held Malik down by his wrists and kissed him gently. Malik closed his eyes and kissed him back.

"You could've killed me, but you didn't," Marik murmured, gazing into Malik's eyes.

"I didn't want to," Malik replied softly.

"So you don't hate me," Marik stated. Malik nodded.

"No, I don't. And I'm sorry for sending you to the Shadow Realm like that. I'm sure that it sucked in there," he said.

"It was boring, but I don't mind," Marik said, shrugging. He kissed Malik again, this time more passionately, and pulled away when they needed to breathe. They gazed into each other's eyes, their stares filled with lust. Malik craned his neck and kissed Marik again, and their two tongues battled lazily. Once again, when they needed to breathe, they pulled away.

"Do you love me?" Marik asked. Malik smiled.

"Marik, if I didn't love you, would I be kissing you like this?" he replied. Marik grinned and let himself fall onto Malik, causing the hikari to gasp out. He hugged Malik, resting his head on his chest and sighing in bliss.

"I love you, too," he murmured. Malik stroked the back of Marik's head gently and smiled happily.

-

Malik rang the doorbell on his home. It was answered by Isis.

"Malik! There you are! It's five in the afternoon already! Where have you been?"

"On a date," Malik replied, grinning. "With Marik." Isis gasped, then noticed Marik standing behind her brother.

"What! But…but you hate each other!" she exclaimed.

"Well, Marik never hated me, but I hated him. But now we're…well, in love. And is it okay if he stays with us? He's been living at an old motel and working full time there, so I figured that it would be best for him to stay. Onegai?" Isis sighed.

"Let me talk with Marik a bit in private," she said. "You go inside, Malik." Malik nodded and Isis led Marik to the backyard, then to the shed.

Malik watched them go outside from his upstairs window. A few minutes later, Marik and Isis came back out, Marik looking very happy and Isis looking satisfied. Marik walked into his room.

"What'd she say?" Malik asked.

"She said that, as long as I don't cause any trouble or go insane, I could stay here. She also mentioned only having sex when she and Rishid was out of the house at the same time," Marik replied, blushing a bit during his second sentence. Malik laughed.

"That's Isis for you," he said. He and Marik pulled into a warm hug.

"Aishiteru, Malik," Marik murmured.

"I love you too, Marik," Malik murmured back and nuzzled his chin.

Owari

Mew: That didn't quite turn out how I wanted it to… oh well. It never does.

Draiku: The same thing happened when you were born.

Mew: -whimper- It did not!

Draiku: -laughs-

Mew: Remember, if you have any idea, any ideas at all, for WHC and TPoTatS, put them in your review!

Yoko: Please R&R! –feeeeeed us…-


End file.
